About PIPA

“The XYZ Doohickey Company was founded in 1971, and has been providing quality doohickeys to the public ever since. Located in Gotham City, XYZ employs over 2,000 people and does all kinds of awesome things for the Gotham community.”

Or so it said on the SAMPLE PAGE that came with the website template software.

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PIPAthe Peninsula Independent Press Association, bycontrast, has no single beginning,  but, like a river’s sources high in clouds & watersheds, many semi-independent origins, each following its own gravity, topography & conditions to here–the Bod Library’s Unnamed Annex for Humor & Media.

“The first principle is that there isn’t any first principle.” –Yours Crudely

“The Reader-Writer-Editor-Member comes first, or all come first together.” The M T Mirror

As visitor, you are entitled to most rights & privileges of a non-visitor, including the right to be somewhere else. (If you aren’t here of your own free will & karma, please leave now.)

Being here still, & still reading, means you have accepted sole responsibility for doing so, having read, parsed, analyzed & agreed to all terms of use, disclaimers, qualifications, conditions, contradictions, & legal mumbo jumbo, expressed, implied or still to be alleged, as spelled out in greater detail (& finer print) in the Virtual Bod’s Library-User-Agreement on file in a locked vault at PIPA headquarters, Mirror-Times-Mirror Building, Periphery Center.

  • The M T Mirror-Times-Mirror Building sub-basement document storage vault is an official Homeland Insecurity Agency By-pass Administration “Undisclosed Location,” as described in the Morse code edition of the Office of What We’re Not Telling You publication XX-Y-KNOT #173, available in micro-mini-dot…dot… nano-dash with proper agency clearance or a virtual Bod Library card (ace or higher).

While you’re here,  you’re welcome to enjoy all benefits available to any Bod Library virtual card holder. Just don’t try to enjoy all available benefits at once, any more than you’d try to read all chapters of a multi-volume novel masquerading as an encyclopedia all at once, or eat all items on a menu at once, without also expecting some consequences.*

  • [{Speaking of not reading: material in double-brackets such as this example require prior “classified ad clearance” or a reasonable facsimile for non-accidental access. Some passages may remain undecipherable even so, using normal cognitive faculties. Simply skim or ignore them, as you would most weather-beaten old books gathering dust in a mundane-world library, or ask Miss Translation for help.}]

The-False-Mirror-rene-magritte

Bodies need not be present to win! In fact, most self-reference librarians prefer it that way. In the case of the more or less annual Posthumous Awards presented by PIPA , for example, banquet organizers explicitly request that bodies not be present, especially in certain stages of decay. “There are better ways to honor the departed than to smell them rot,” writes PIPA vice-president for the P.A., Penelope O. Kneel (7th great grand-niece once removed from the 3rd most famous Peninsula dramatist, Hugh Geno Kneel, recipient of a PA for his posthumous Long Night’s Journey on the Red Eye).

  • Speaking of not being present, Einstein is said to have compared the telegraph to  the radio using an imaginary cat. He said the telegraph was like pulling the tail at one end to hear a sound come out the other end. “To dig the magic of the radio,” he said, “imagine the same thing, but without the cat.”

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As official repository of the Peninsula Independent Press Association, this winged annex of the Bod Library Complex receives sporadic stream-of-semi-consciousness dispatches & occasional downpours of more or less imaginary news, with flashes, bells & whistles, along with hail-mary passes for posting & articles wired for sound, plus the usual:

  • columns & stories; excerpts & corrections; dictionary & encyclopedia entries; exit, ad & astrological signs; errata, corrections, revisions & qualifications; deletions, ellipses, & deleted ellipses; press releases, birth announcements & invitations to weddings, bar-mitzvahs, divorces, beheadings & wakes; obituaries; market reports, opinions & analyses; menus, recipes, & archival napkins; scientific, artistic, & cultural neurotica; sports, celebrity, fashion & travel features; time-life-&-mini-fortune cookies; brand investment coupons & propaganda films with payola distribution credits; embedded, display, regular, classified, & “top secret” advertising.
  • letters, poems, absurdist lit, sketches, doodles, snapshots, photos, dream-feeds, &/or conceptual sausages ground fresh daily at the Skid Rodent Shelter, on behalf of the Skid Row Dentistry Association;
  • footnotes, posts, post-holes, poles, pole-holes, pole-cats, & postits; gossip, rumor & undercover surveillance reports; clips, cuts, excerpts [{& double-bracketed dossiers}]…etc.

Because our members are many, and our standards few (sometimes miss-translated as “our members are high so our standards are low”), PIPA also includes automatically cross-registered members-in-good-standing of the Peninsula Inn Action Federation’s Historic Site & Roadside Rest-Room Registry; Independent Toll-takers, Cookie-bakers & Troll Workers Union (Vida Loca #8896);  Time-Life-Weight-&-Fortune Tellers Society; municipal, county, state & national agency, department, bureau, drawer, chamber council; medical, psychiatric & educational institution residents; freak clinic clowns & emergency medical marijuana ambulance services; games, teams, leagues, bowls & tournament association; posters, posthole- & pre-hole exchanges; music & poetry fests; suggestion box consultant management firms; mobile flyer trade groups & underpass art graffiti museums; etc.

You get the idea.

  • Or, if you don’t: Anything ever appearing in, on, over or about a MIshugunah Peninsula publication, media outlet, or virtual page is grist for the PIPA repository mill, including the life-sized scale-model of the complete peninsula on display in the self-reference section’s Fractal Overview Foyer….
  • Now appearing off-off-off-Broadway with the complete cast of the Mirror-Times-Mirror silent musical revival “Mime’n Yores,” based on the “inn novel” A Room with a View of Itself, adapted for pockets with mobile devices.
  • Little of this would be possible without the newest cutting edge inside-out buffalo chips from Outside Inn Technology, a leader in reverse & upside-down engineering. 

image-3Along similar lines, we’d have run out of space & storage capacity long ago if it weren’t for our cloud-minded friends at Pinhead Intelligence Service Technology. Now all we receive & dish up in a month of Sundays fits on the head of a PISTpin, with room left over for Dictionary, Encyclopedia, LIfe-sized Atlas of Everywhere, & the complete BODBusiness & Organization Directory for the whole Dang Mishugunah Peninsula–or whatever else maps may choose to call our world.

  • A land of many tongues, the Peninsula has been known by more names lost & forgotten than found & remembered, over a long history, and much longer pre-history, some names never spoken by more than a few, many more never written down, a practice continued even today by the region’s tour guides & map-mimes.
  • Nevertheless, most up-to-date translators & map-makers have been slowly coming into compliance with the Mishugunah Peninsula Nomenclature Act, which stipulates rules for place-names & numbers, some later found unconstitutional.

    [While it is legal for the government to mandate that every place will have a designated zip code, it cannot limit the freedom of private map-makers to call places whatever they want, even move them around, & include places that don’t exist.]
  • More on the peninsula & the Nomenclature Act, can be found in The More-On’s Guide to the Mishugunah, now available in an ADS-FREE edition {i.e., with free ads). Water for sale 001

“Nothing says more about a place than its language, except its ads, dictionaries, encyclopedia, & nursery rhymes.”

Dick’s Handy Random Pocket Pinhead Dictionary-Encyclopedia-Atlas-Directory now comes with a pre-paid subscriptions to The M T Mirror-Times-Mirror-‘s Annual Self-reference Special, The Port Hole Fashion Weekly, The Periphery Center Post Telegraph Pole Flyer.

  • Thanks to Pinhead Technology, in the blink of an eye (or the pop of an ear), you can find out whatever’s happening around you–touring artists, speakers, teachers, seekers, celebrities & flea circuses; lap-, flag- & may-pole dances; conundrum circles, hobo obo blow-offs, bugling show-offs; harmonica & kazoo symphonies, void orchestra pit peach pops; battles of the bands, the banned, & the brands; mime tabernacle choirs & eclectic electric chorus lines; smart caca-phone sales with smell-tell ring-tones; …
  • plus the location of nearby sand, water & rock gardens; lightning fields; mixed-media time-lapse histories of the universe at various scales; worm-loop holes & trans-relativity etcetera centers; reports from the works-in-progress administration;
  • –&, for a limited time only, The Wut’s-Wut Guide to Wake-Up-&-Spell-the-Gnostics, our smell-check cashing service; with irresistible coming attractions.

The PIPA/ Peninsula Independent Press Association has been called a: trans-national treasure; repository of assorted deposits; designated undisclosed dislocation re-locator; monolog walking lumber blog; &, most often, Short Attention Span Suspension Bridge Tournament In Progress. No wonder PIPA is proud to sponsor: a) the annual humility awards (home of the coveted Humble Pies prizes); b) Bod Bot Bucket List Bingo; c) Mobius Strip Poker Championship; d) Dick Taters, Private Eye; e) Wheel of Miss Fortune, the Mishugunah’s Word Game; f) many other worthy causes, events, & member productions.

Though our coverage is strictly limited to the Mishugunah Peninsula, except for brief excerpts, for purposes of comparison, or when perverse winds blowi chunk sof news in from the mainstream, mainland, &/or outer space, our content knows no theoretical limit, being open to a full spectrum of publication types-&-foci (if any), including (but not limited to) reporting at all orders of magnitude so far discovered, from  Muon, Higgs Boson & Gang of Quarks to Galactic Heart spiraling out to embrace the whole Shebang.

Nevertheless, coverage naturally tends to emphasize what’s just happened or about to in the local readership area, including news, upcoming events, special programs; works of art, literature, music; science, technology & the marketplace for products & ideas (sometimes even ideas for products). When it comes to local, of course, nothing gets more so than when we’re reporting on/ writing about/ PIPA/ ourselves.

“To be properly interpreted, put in perspective, & ‘corrected for,’ all information should be # taken with a grain of salt; # reconsidered in light of the lenses passed through. A truth-teller & a liar may both swear to tell the truth, the whole truth & nothing but the truth, in other words, but only one is. The other, who may or may not believe in what’s said at the time, is wrong either way. If you know someone’s likely wrong, however, you may infer correctly.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~IRS, Institute for Runaway Self-reference, Dr. Sigmoid Floyd, dir.

PIPA: Peninsula Independent Press Association

headquarters: The Mirror Times Mirror Building, Mirror-Times-Mirror Plaza Square, Periphery Center, Quark County, Dangling Peninsula.

branches:Everywhere we’re known, read or used to wrap fish. [Or as one wag put it, “from behind the Scrotum Rocks to beyond the Perineal Flats past the far tip of Shnoz Point.”]

complete list of members: Available by court order or pretty-please request with a  cherry on top–though no list is ever fully up-to-date. (As proven by Pythagoras Shmirkoff, founder of Lists Unlimited, “Lists lag life.”)

Some prominent PIPA members pleased to be identified as such include:

The M T Mirror-Times-Mirrorits associates, subsidiaries, spin-offs  & affiliates;
The Porthole Sun (day or night edition); The Fort Arroyo Record Telegraph;
Absinthe Radio Theater; The Periphery Center Annex Mall Advertisement Sheet;
Gigi’s G-Spot Menu Specials; Dick’s Pocket Pinhead Dictionary; Handy Randy’s Axe, Hammer, Pick’n Shovel News; Pobre Ricardo’s Almaniak (bilingual); Placebo Pharma’s Pill’n Lozenge Bulletin (sub-lingual); Linguistica MetaFranka (bible of twisted linguistics);

Rikipedia; Publishers Digest; The Recyclopad of Omar Kayak; The Rerebuyiat of Omai  Koan; Can-Can Carnival’s Canal Zone Dance Cruises; Canali # 5, creators of carton-back literature for boxes of Canoli 8; Alice’s Inn Cider (a perpetual contender for PIPA’s “Old-Timey Press of the Year” Award); Garlic Media (a division of Word-Of-Mouth Promotions, home of the rumor mill campaign in commerce & politics); & PS/ the Posthumous Society, producers of the Follow Your Nose Guides to Good Scents (e.g., Spas of the Quirky Coast)….

[Members with Release of Name Waivers pending include (but aren’t limited to) Rebuttal Industries; The Committee to De-Select the Elite; John & Jane Doe Associates; Alias Pseudonyms & Nymphs; International Federation of 2nd Hand Organ Donors, Piano Tuners & Wheel Turners;  AALF (the Anti-Acronym Liberation Front) & its bitter rival for the hearts & minds of the AFL-IOU (Armed Federation of Lexicographers-In Outsiders United), CACA (Coalition Against Careless Acronyms); the Fried Brain Law Firm; Fingers Accounting (formerly the Accountant of Monte Crisko); the Antidefecation League; Blowhole Blog & Grog Society; Blubber, Slobber & Wail, purveyors of fine pails, buckets & mugs; ….]

And this is just what one teen-oriented sophomore-on junior highish humor publication calls “the tit of the iceberg.” Indeed, that reminds us that PIPA includes member publications for all ages and levels of age regression. If that means some are wild & wooley, & some a bit thick-shelled with specialist words, terms & academic scholarshit, others are written by the young, the ripe &/or the perpetually immature. Either that or that’s our lens….

Coming soon: Along the Mobius Strip’s Poker Highway (part of the Computer Poker Potato & Buffalo Chip Scenic Loop & the Freudian’s Lip Spoken Word & Slam Tournament Tour), a new consumer- savvy escalator conveyor belt will carry you by the glamorous Disco Balls Cathedral, with its famous Partridge-in-a-Fig-Tree; 2 Quick Wed-Sheds with matrimonial, divorce & bail bonds on call; 3 Urban-Suburban Interface Transport Commission transfer stations; 4 Oases Casinos; 5 Periphery Center Plaza-Mall-Annex-Sub-Bargain-Basements; 6 Fig-leaf Fashion Model Chic Sheik Runways featuring the latest sheets & table-cloths; 7 one-hump camel merchants; 8 Yummy Date Bars; 9 no-nonsense negative mimes; & 10 intense relaxation absinthe tents (each with 11 lads, lasses &/or lassies of paradise waiting to serve all 11 of the time-space dimensions the String Thong Theory says you have).

  • If that’s not enough, hop off at any stop in the world-famous Voids (Upper, Lower & those in the middle), on the lip of the Bottomless Gorge’s Lookout Below Scenic Vista, site of the still incomplete Short Attention Span Glass Suspension Bridge,
  • where the view from below is almost as spectacular as from the dizzy heights above, with nothing but surrounding sky & drop-off, wind under your skirts & kilts
  • with echoes of falling  bagpipes.

If you’re really lucky, you’ll be there for one of the town’s “Let your hair down Bruncheons, Buppers, Linners, Binners or Luppers,” cobination meals & literary events sponsored by the Void Ladies Auxiliary Board.

  • Originally called the Bored Jellos, these never-bored culture-beavers host weekly events, monthly picnics, seasonal specials & an annual holiday spectacular pajama-party sleep-over, once called “Holiday on Ice Cubes,” then “Spirits-on-the-rocks.” Harkening back to the days of town’s 1st Church, which did double-duty as the “west’s holiest bordello,” the group makes a point of reminding visitors that the Auxiliary is open to members of all genders, political parties & religious persuasions.

If Upper, Lower & Middle Void don’t have what you’re looking for, the Peninsula offers many other choices,

  • from winding mountain tracks to underwater caves, undulating coasts shifting with each wave, surge & storm to cloud-bannered peaks rippling with wind flocks; places reeking of the past (like historic Fort Arroyo, with its blood-stained posts & cannonball holes) to shimmering futuristic visions (like Mirror-Times-Mirror Squared, at the intersection of crossroads, boulevards, avenues, pedestrian walks, where downtown Periphery Center meets the Uptown Virtual Entertainment Zone & 9-lane Stepponit Interstate Expressway).

As Pinhead engineers love to point out, their Virtual Digit-In-the-Cloud (VDIC) chip-system & short-circuit-board architecture not only makes space for all this, that, & the other, but throws in, at no extra charge, its conciseness, concision, compression, brevity, shortness, sweetness, redundancy, expandability & deletability functionalities. Along with the priceless benefit of taking up no more space than a pin-prick, Pinhead’s pis-chips produce negligible tangible garbage, toxic pollution, or global warmth. (They are fuzzy, however.)

  • The new Pinhead chip will hold the Inverse Peninsula’s entire library, past, present & future, including the full output of tomorrow’s newspapers, periodicals, magazines, books, films, albums, reviews, & lottery suggestions, along with a complete representation of the astronomy, geology, geography, biology, ecology, economy, infrastructure, politics, multi-cultural & poly-existential known &/or imagined worlds of the whole dang Mishugunah Peninsula across time, & do so without putting on any additional weight. [Need we repeat ourselves–again?]

Given limited time–at the moment–& available methods of new data insertion, the search for shortcuts goes on, as well as for scenic alternatives, loops, knots, detours & doomsday machine short-circuits.  According to a senior Pinhead executive, the key to “short shorts is extra shortening,” reminding us that their new “Rubix chips” will also predict market moves, roulette results, & fashion trends, but charge “an arm & a leg” to do so at scale.

  • It’s a well-known secret that Pinhead Engineers don’t ask “how many angels are dancing here?” any more. Now, if asked, they answer, “Who’s counting?”
  • It turns out the number depends on how as well as who’s counting where put–
  • From pinhead pens to pinhead computers, pinhead pocket dictionaries to pinhead smartphones that speak directly to all your pockets, to pinheads de3signed to coordinate messages between devices (Right now the Pinhead TV-Watch-Driverless-Drive-In-Theater looks like the next big hit, with a pre-captive audience.)

As much as we may at times depend for our survival on Pinhead technology, the center of PIPA remains IP, i.e., Independent PressWe are beholden to none, therefore, as well as beholden to all. We depend on our independence, as much as you do. Our suggestion box slot never closes–but can get stuffed. (In fact, “Get Stuffed” is our box’s nickname.)    

“Please do not over shake, rattle or roll the box-cars.”

“Know what’s inside before breaking &/or entering.”

“Remember how easy it is for self-braking machines to break their makers.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As this is written, things that break or cause breakage are still big business in much of world, considered by most essential to national security, so long as they break enough of what you want to justify their cput’s (cost per unit of target), less a % for collateral damage. Indeed, the right to buy & sell weapons (whether by governments, militias, sportsmen, or otherwise disturbed groups or individuals) is widely considered absolute & sacrosanct, so long as none are used to interrupt classes, commerce or civic business; or attempt suicide, a crime still punishable by life in prison, or worse.

We try not to editorialize, except under an appropriate pseudonym. (See “Letters to the editor, that bastard.”) Nevertheless, our Random Access Selection & Typing Ap (RASTA) sometimes has opinions of its own, whether shared with PIPA members or not. [According to experts familiar with the RASTA protocol, disagreeing probably means you’re: a) still learning; b) ready to have your head examined; c) wrong.)

Besides, being hirelings of a fully INDEPENDENT Press Association, “we callem as we see-um.” If something stinks, we may say so in the normal course of our reporting, leaving it to others to tell you not to step in it–or your own good sense. If that stink is in an elevator, however, we leave it to you to choose your own floor.

“Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Perhaps good things can come from bad technology–if it can only be taught to sit when told & not bite the baby’s face off.” Along these lines, Dovish Digest claims that the same Pinhead technology that puts the world on the head of a pin–at your fingertips & in your pocket–was first developed to fit instructions in the warheads of rockets, “to make them smart,” or at least tingle. (One even earned a degree in mechanical re-engineering from Yeli College, the original home of Pail Ale.)

In The smarter they are, the harder they fall, a tell-all from “an anonymous Pinhead insider,” the author claims that the real targets of government agencies were “the smartypants, know-it-all, skeptic & critic,” especially those who did not support the progress Pinheading the world represented–from smart rocks to smart socks. “Now, with the internet of things & thongs, your pockets can talk to your niches, while smart fingers scratch your itches.”

Believe what you want–you’ll find support for your views in some publication or other media outlet of the Dang Ling Inverse Peninsula’s Independent Press Association, whose members remain “of two or more minds about everything, usually more.” (“No we don’t!”)

That means some minds are bound to be wrong. (“Speak for yourself.”) Still, there are some things on which the vast majority of the smartest 1% of the whole Dang population has always agreed–namely that somewhere between 1 & 99% have no idea what they’re talking about, especially the ones making & skewing the rules. Thus we have muckrakers.

“We shine a pen-light into the dark corners of congressional steam-rooms, shadowy booths of the visigoth lobbyists in strip clubs, cloak closets of the night watch militias  & screening rooms where film noire’s mascara-running militants read their Mobius lips manifestoes after hours.” —Dark Matter & Energy Review

“If sunlight is the great disinfectant, a flashlight sometimes has to do in a pinch.” —Learned Fingers, Associate Justice of the Supreme Quart

“An age-old dilemma–how to throw out the baby without losing the bath-water.” —Soups on, translated from Le Francoise de Rue Morgue by Lady Freida Bustle-Jones [formerly sous-chef de Crepes Suzette at Cafe Bimbo & featured cellar-singer “in ze Edit Piaf revue,” at the basement Bistro Sans Quiche, in Void].

“Where a writer has nothing (more) to say (on a subject), quoting someone else (real or imagined, au natural or made up) can provide a handy route for escape.” –Ghost Writers Anonymous

“STOP! Below under de-reconstruction. Maybe you should try another page for awhile? ]

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXYXXXXXXXXXXY-KNOTXXXXXXXZXXX

TMI ZONE: You have already long since entered the Too Much Information Zone. Nevertheless, the de-elevator continues to scroll down its shaft. Never mind 40,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Here we are under the hills & valleys, streets & sidewalks, buildings & grounds, deep in the PIPA Deposit Administration’s Hilarious Mime Archive.

A few zigs-zags & zag-zigs takes us to the THINGS MOST PIPA MEMBERS AGREE ON footnote repository & old socks auditorium.

~~~~~~~THINGS MOST PIPA MEMBERS AGREE ON

# [more than 90%]One picture is worth between 10 & (in rare cases) 1000 words.

# [more than 85%] Pinhead technology has turned things that used to go boom into libraries, art galleries, museums, play areas & virtual performance spaces, while taking up no space of its own.

# [more than 80%] The press has a role in reducing gratuitous violence & brutality, whether by private citizens or government agencies. Violence & brutality are gratuitous unless for a damn good reason.

# [more than 75%, 70%, 60% & 35%, respectively] A damn good reason usually does not include “It felt good at the time,”  “Because Big So-&-So told me to,” “They deserved it,” or, in many cases, “It was them or us.” (According to Judge Learned Fingers, “A self-defense defense by a homeowner shooting an armed intruder no longer carries the day when the intruder has a badge in his wallet. Nor does it apply to actions taken by corrupt law enforcement  officials acting to protect themselves from prosecution.)  

4. [more than 50%, but barely] PIPA members believe that they retain the right to disagree with each other as well as with PIPA as a whole, although this drops by more than half when asked if other PIPA members (or PIPA as a whole) have the same right, and by half again if in disagreement with them “on something really important.”

5. [more than 30%] Believe members have the responsibility to both agree & disagree, especially where they see more than one side of an issue “more fully, deeply & clearly.”

6. [more than 15%] Believe that, in theory, seeing the same things from enough different points of view can show you more of how these things are, were, or may turn out to be, however unlikely.

7. [more than 5%] Agree that there is a difference between “observation & reasoning,” on the one hand, &, on the other, crazy projections, hallucinations & tactical assault delusions accompanied by the Super Ludicrous Society idea that they (& they alone) hold the revealed truth–the whole, holy, & pure truth, thus their mission to destroy the world!

8. [more than 1%] Recognize that seeing different sides of a fibrous issue is bound to produce many whacky surprises. (As in Spliff’s formula: a Realist +an  Idealist = read-a-listi deal-a-twisti, which raises the question of whether it is better to put the ideal on a pedestal of principle at the expense of the humdrum & mundane on the ground, or to rake muck in the down-to-earth world that is at the expense of pure principle in the abstract?)

9. [the “Nieners,” who refuse to be counted] The “Neiners” disagree even with PIPA‘s commitment to open-ness & multiple points of view, which gets some called “hypocrites” for joining anyway & others not members at all. Most liberal scholars consider the “Neiner” movement a remnant of the flat-screening tradition.

Like Flat-worlders before them, Flat-screeners believe everyone should see the same screen from the same angle, as defined by the party line at the time, lest seeing things from different angles, or in the round & round, “should lead to dizziness, nausea & confusion.”  To those following the Flat Screen Party line, the very idea of freedom of press & thought is an anathema.

As suggested above, Flat-screen partisans fall in two main factions, sometimes at war with each other–some who join PIPA in an effort to take it over & undermine its freedom from within; others who have no interest in joining a group with such members, self-selecting themselves out of PIPA’s founding gene pool.

Original Peninsulites, suffice to say, were by most accounts an idiosyncratic, ornery, & disagreeable lot, prone not only to see different sides of issues, mountains, rivers, roads & shaving cream signs, but to fight over them–until the Great Lightbulb went off. Historians, of course, disagree about what followed this event, including whether that meant it was dark, as when any lights go off, or bright, as when cartoon characters bask in the glow of the lit up bulb (which mosts psychiatrists worth their salt consider a projection of the cartoonist’s olfactory bulb).

Be that as it may, the Peninsula’s “100 Monkeys,”  (which some consider more like 50 monkeys & 50 monk locks while others think in terms of monks & monkesses) not only embraced “the philosophy of individual diversity,” but began living it daily, joyfully, vervefully, with energy, style & panache…. If two people saw things exactly the same, they looked at each other with suspicion.

[{Auto-fill tried to turn what was typed as “monkesses,” above, into “mongooses” & “moonrises,” but then while writing “mongooses” in these brackets, it turned the word to monkesses”! Apparently it learns–or wants them both the same, without caring which.}]

The PIPA–Peninsula Independent Press Association has for its party line, “we shall have no party line.” (Party hats were another matter. Party lines were for by-gones past, when you could listen to your neighbors without having to go through the NSA or FISA courts.)

“The independence of a free press–or if not totally free, cheap–is the ground we walk on.” Naturally, some ground is higher than others, but “it takes all kinds of terrain to make a country,” as media philosopher Hu Me‘s observed, adding “The fact that ignorant people also deserve to be served doesn’t mean they need to be blatantly pandered to as today.” 

In order to encourage a more perfect disagreement, therefore, PIPA members also recognize “some limits,” exact dimensions of which provide the gist for many arguments. As one laughing gas prognosticator (who performs under the name “the Happy Medium” in séance clubs) puts it, “Somewhere between the whole friggin world & a meatless Tuesday, there’s a happy medium. What’s fitting is usually between too baggy & too tight.”

Somewhere between a “Happy Medium” & a Stand Up Comic, a PIPA Fellow simply reports things as they seem, even when they seem confused. Then it’s up to camera & mike folk, directors, editors, & associate producers, coders, decoders, translators & executives of soap, cereal & pharmaceutical companies with the good sense to have been born rich &/or otherwise gifted with opportunities.  These are mostly expected to operate quietly in the background, invisible in themselves, while the show goes on.].

Even so, somewhere between the “complete world at all orders of magnitude” & the pin-point here at the pen-point reflecting all in its passing are many pinheaded levels of distillation, shaping, filtering, tweaking, twerking & not a little jerking, fizzing, hissing & shmaltzing. Imagine for a moment your favorite writers, singers, artists & the reporters who cover them. If we have no idea what their next stories, songs, sketches or articles will be, often neither do they. In many cases, the stories seem to choose them, sneaking up on them from behind, rather than vice versa.

In most idea transmission, editors, publishers, producers & packagers compete for a share of the choosing,  whether just following their own tastes & instincts, trying to read the market or please sponsors, advertisers, &/or subscribers, inevitably raising conflicts of interest, where one party’s pleasure rubs another the wrong way. Since PIPA has no direct advertisers, subscribers, producers, packagers, publishers or editors, however, we don’t have to please anyone but ourselves by “just doing our best to please you, then improving on that.”  Pleasing you tickles us pink, being what pleases us most, or at least 2nd most.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Yours Crudely, Supreme Arbiter

 

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